Who should pay for Plan B??
<div class="user-question">I have a slightly embarrassing question & I wasn't sure for the longest time who I could ask for help. Basically, I've been seeing this guy for a while and long story short, I had to get a Plan B. Of course, it's already super embarrassing to deal with but we also got into a huge fight about who should pay for it. What's the right approach to talking about this? I really like the guy, but not wanting to pay or share the cost of Plan B seems like a red flag. Please help!!</div>
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear this!! You were right to stand up for yourself and demand that he at least share the cost. If it helps - you're not the only one going through this.
One of the most shocking red flags I've encountered in my entire dating life was when a guy I was seeing made me pay for Plan B after things got hot and heavy too quickly and an unexpected “incident” occurred. While I was flattered by my own capabilities, this experience not only highlighted his lack of responsibility but also raised serious concerns about his respect and consideration for my sexual well-being. Needless to say, I clearly ghosted him because he had the audacity to place the blame for birth control on me when S*X is clearly a multi-person act.
The Red Flag of Responsibility
After said “incident”, it became clear that Plan B was necessary because I did not see a little Kristina in my future as an 18-year-old freshman in my sorority. To my horrible surprise, the guy I was hooking up with insisted that I should pay for it. This situation was not only financially burdensome but also emotionally draining. His refusal to share the responsibility for something that involved both of us showed his immaturity and lack of respect..
Sexual health and contraception are shared responsibilities. When one partner refuses to contribute or take responsibility, it signals a lack of maturity and respect. It's essential to be with someone who understands the importance of mutual support and is willing to share the load, both emotionally and financially because, unless you're giving yourself a hand job, getting off requires another person.
I wish I had the courage to tell off this man and his audacity when I was 18 but I was so shocked and appalled I felt nothing but shame. Going forward, I hope anyone in this situation realizes accidents happen and there should not be any shame in (1) buying birth control or Plan B and (2) asking for equal contribution and support. I was lucky that I had a job that summer that allowed me to be able to pay for Plan B but if you are caught in a pickle ( or ON one) I’ve provided you some resources below so that you don’t have to go through this alone!
Resources for Free Sexual Health Services for Students
For students, accessing affordable or free sexual health services is crucial. Here are some resources that can help:
1️⃣ Planned Parenthood: Offers a range of sexual health services, including contraception, STD testing, and more. Many locations offer services on a sliding scale based on income.
2️⃣ Campus Health Centers: Most universities have health centers that provide free or low-cost sexual health services, including contraception and counseling. I used go here weekly because the condoms were free and unlimited.
3️⃣ Bedsider: A free online birth control support network that provides information about contraception and where to find it.
4️⃣ The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy: Provides resources and information on sexual health and contraception.
Again, I want to say how sorry I am that you had to go through this and yes, you're right. This is a MAJOR red flag🚩
I hope this was helpful & sending you a big hug!
xx, Kristina
Btw - here's how others are doing👀
We know you might feel like you're the only one struggling to figure out how to handle money, relationships & sex, so we went through our data base to pull out some insights on how most Frichies are thinking about these things:
What’s your take on a guy paying for everything in a relationship?
🥰 21% Love it!
💰 43% Depends on how different our financial situations are
😬29% It establishes a strange power dynamic
👀7% I expect that
Have you ever had an argument with your significant other over money?
🤐30% No, I try to avoid talking about money!
🤔43% Only in more serious relationships
😓26% Quite often - money can cause a lot of stress in relationships
